4 Years Later. November 2017-Novemeber 2021
Updated: Oct 20, 2022
Life changes, people change, and the world is forever moving. A concept that seems so easy to understand until you find yourself in a situation that forever changes the path your life will travel.
I look at myself, now four years later, and thinking about the bumpy path my life has been on the last four years still puts a pit in the bottom of my stomach.
I never expected to see who I am today staring back in the mirror, but honestly, this version is who I was always meant to become.
I am the strongest and happiest version of myself.
November 2017 was when I learned that my life would be different. The future I imagined needed to be erased, and I needed to rewrite my future story without my dad quickly. Something I did not consider back then was the reality that I would never actually be without him.
From how I cook dinner to whistle around the house, the weird names you make up to call everyday objects, the way I parent my children… and I mean, my brother and mother too (let’s be honest, I’m a mother hen).
I’m a protector by nature, and protecting my family only grew stronger when I became a mom. I hated knowing that with ALS, I could not save Ton, I could not move a mountain, I could not Google myself into a form of a cure, or find a way to protect him from the “bad bug” that we told Thor that his Papa had which was taking away his ability to walk and talk.
But then I found my ability to walk and talk. I found a way to ‘Mama Bear’ myself into the lives of others with ALS, a welcoming community that It is not hard to want to fight for anyone impacted by the disease.
My world started to crumble four years ago, one wall at a time. I did not know then that I needed my walls to fall and crumble to rebuild them stronger and taller than before.
At first, I thought I found myself when I lost my dad, but I have realized that I was never lost. I did not need to be found; I needed to know the true strength in my heart.
My path over the last four years has been a winding and narrow road. You would never believe a road would have such a beautiful view at the end because the path never indicated anything but a mess.
November 2021, I have become the strongest and happiest version of myself. I have created something near and dear to my heart. Ton always saw the best version of me; he challenged me to make sure I was loud and proud to challenge back.
I needed to rewrite my future, one different than what I envisioned as a little girl. I needed to rewrite a world without my dad, and I did one better and created a company in his honor.
I rewrote my future to ensure that he will always be with me, challenging me and reminding me of the best version of myself.
Four years ago, my world started to crumble.
My life was forever going to change.
I was forever going to change.
Four years later, my world has been rebuilt.
This world is stronger.
This world is happier.
The world is forever moving. A concept that is now so easy to understand, while the world may be forever moving, each path traveled can still have a beautiful ending…
…and if the ending of the path is not what you envisioned, rewrite it.