Gold Star Spouse Day

Updated: Feb 3

At many weddings you will hear a common vow phrase promised to one another which is “for sickness and for health”. What happens though when it is not you that has to endure the sickness but a family member? Do the vows remain? Is the promise still intact? They say when you marry a person you marry their entire family and I feel like that phrase alone is the start of our love story, the start of Bryan and Sabrina Johnson.

I met Bryan’s entire family the day I met Bryan. After going to college with Bryan’s brother Ben he decided the best way to set up his other brother was to invite me to his house aka the house where not only he lived, but his younger brothers and his parents. He thought it would be the perfect place where Bryan could come from the city and I could come from the South Side and we could all just meet up there for a comedy show and a night out. We could meet at their childhood home. We could all meet.

Our love story started surrounded by family and little did we know then that “for sickness and for health” would also be surrounded by family. Bryan and I are both extremely close with our families and that was something early on that I loved about him. I loved knowing that we both valued the relationships with our families and that we had a common goal of bringing two families together.

When Ton first started to fall or anytime that I felt unease about not being there he would be the first one to tell me to go, to drop everything to allow me to the freedom to come and go the 1.5 hours to and from Ton if I needed to be there for anything, even just to make sure myself that he was doing okay.

As you have read on here before I can be extremely stubborn, someone who holds in emotions until I uncontrollably burst because I cannot physically hold in the pain anymore. Through all the ups and the downs, the tears, and the anger, Bryan would always allow me the moment I needed even if those moments were not easy on him.

After Ashton was born it was Bryan who looked at me and brought up the idea of packing up and staying with my mom until my dad passed away knowing time was limited. It was Bryan who would not leave my mom alone until he knew she was okay for us to come back home. It was Bryan who used much of his paternity leave at his in-laws and memorials. It was Bryan who never one complained, batted an eye, or scuffed at any moment. Now I could write a list of things that drives me crazy about Bryan, but he could write one just as long about me because no one is perfect. Marriage will never be perfect, or easy, but when you find someone that will photoshop funny pictures and hide them around your dad’s funeral to make people laugh…then you know you have found your four-leaf clover.

My mom and I were laying with my dad towards the end, he could no longer talk but we could tell he was trying to get Bryan into the room to tell him something. When Bryan entered the room, Ton looked at Bryan and gave him a huge thumbs up. He passed the torch; he knew his family would be okay because he knew that Bryan would be there to look after us. Ton knew he could pass away peacefully knowing we were safe, we were protected, we were loved.

Marriage, in general, is not easy, marriage during a disease somedays can feel nearly impossible, but marriage to Bryan Johnson is Ton approved and that is something ever so special.

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